These days, I’m happy to call myself a slut. Well, nearly. It’s difficult to reverse the stigma that’s been attached to a word. I know that if I introduce myself by saying, “Hi I’m Jessica and I’m a slut”, I’m more likely to receive negative reactions that positive ones. I would say that, and people would automatically make assumptions about me, just as they would if I said I was a sadist or a surfer or a sight-seeing enthusiast. People judge. That’s just how life works. We are hard-wired to do so. When we encounter something new, we immediately turn to patterns we have stocked away in order to make sense of the new situation. This means that it is a natural reaction to apply stereotypes when we have nothing better to go on. So if I tell someone I’m a slut, and they immediately perceive me to be someone with no self-worth and who will fuck absolutely anyone, I can’t exactly blame them.
The first definition of “slut”, according to Google, is “a woman who has many casual sex partners”. I call myself a slut because that definition fits my life right now. I am not attached to any one particular person. I have no devoted relationships in which there would be negative consequences if I were to sleep with a third party. I am free to explore, and by a choice that is completely my own, I do.
So yes, I have many casual partners. A handful of people I have fucked multiple times and would gladly fuck again. Most people only ever get one time with me. But I don’t have one night stands to just rack up numbers. I don’t boast about the number of men who have been in my bed. I do it because I love sex and I know exactly what I want out of my relationships. I can tell very quickly whether I will gain anything meaningful from someone, or if I will have anything sufficient to offer them in return. If neither of these is apparent, I prefer not to waste my time or theirs by forcing a relationship to continue when it’s obviously not meant to.
People meet me because they want to fuck me. I am quite aware of that. I am attractive and intelligent, and most importantly, actually willing to have sex. I am not ashamed to offer my body to someone in a safe, consensual manner. As long as I agree to it, I don’t feel violated or invaded. I don’t feel like I’ve lost myself or my self-worth because I am always in control of how much of myself I give to someone. I will not perform any act outside of my own volition. I am a self-proclaimed slut, and I have standards.