How could I possibly sleep around as much as I do and claim that I have standards? I’m sure there are people out there who frown upon the choices I’ve made and the lifestyle I’ve chosen. But here’s the thing: I’m not living to their standards. I’m living to my standards. My standards have evolved over years of learning what is important to me, and as long as I stay true to myself, I maintain those standards.
I do NOT just let anyone fuck me. I like to think of myself as a nice person that gives everyone a chance, but a lot of people contact me, so I have no choice but to put them through a filtration system. First step to getting in contact with me? Know how to write a fucking sentence. I am constantly amazed at how many people don’t realize how powerful language is. Sending me a message riddled with typos is the equivalent of stumbling up to me drunk off your ass and asking for my number. You’re not getting it, mate. I may be a slut but I’m also a lady and I am not easily impressed. I am attracted to intelligence, so choose your words wisely. That also means that you should start out by saying something respectful. The fact that you are talking to me online doesn’t mean that basic rules of communication are just thrown out the window. You want to tell me all the nasty things you want to do to me? Sure, great. But as your first message? Come on, really? I’m glad that you have a portal through which to express these thoughts–because I highly doubt you’d say that to my face–but you’re not going to illicit any response from me.
Step 2: Starting out a conversation is important, but so is maintaining one. You want to get to know me right? Ask me things. Specific things. Ask me what I’m into, or better yet tell me what you’re into and I’ll let you know if we’ll get along. I lose interest really quickly, so it helps if you make yourself stand out from the crowd. Even if you are polite as can be, I can only take so many “how are you?” or “what are you up to today?” type messages before I get bored. If I reply at all, my answer will usually be just as generic as your question. For example, “I’m good, how are you?” or “Not much, work and such.” Those conversations get dull really fast. If I find myself interested in you for some reason, I will make an effort to drive a personalized conversation. If you are interested in me, I expect the same.
Step 3: Be attractive. This is just luck of the draw. If we’re going to fuck I need to enjoy it also. I definitely have a type of man I go for, so if you fit those criteria, great. If you don’t, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I’ll turn you down, but you need to give me good reason to step outside my norms. I’ll admit that I’m still growing in this area. I’m a bit hesitant to reply to someone if I’m not initially attracted to them, even if they have passed through the first filter. But I’m working on it…I promise.
Make it past those three steps and I’ll probably agree to meet you. And unless something goes terribly wrong, I’ll probably let you fuck me. Simple as that. A decent number of people make it to this phase; this is the realm where my sluttiness resides. I’m a huge introvert and I honestly don’t like most people, but for some reason I enjoy meeting people in this format. Probably because I get laid a lot. That’s enough of a reward. Plus it usually gets me out of the house.
Now to contrast, the next step is getting me to see you again. At this point we experience a huge drop-off in numbers. I have to be intrigued by you. I have to be left thinking about you all night and the next few days. I have to want you to know me…this is the hardest part. I am very picky about who I let close to me. Don’t think for a second that just because you got to fuck me that you’ve won me over. I can count the number of people that have gotten to this point on one hand. So if you’re one of the few who have made it this far, you’re very lucky.
Call them cold and bitchy if you like, but these are (some of) my standards. They evolve as I change and learn more things about myself, but I always stick to them.