The following is my attempt at describing my expectations for our relationship. I hope that this promotes questions and further discussion. I am of course open to revision and suggestions in all sections barring removal of items Section A: Hard Limits.
Sections A, B, and C are composed of acts I find especially intriguing (or repulsive). These lists are not comprehensive. It is expected that consent will be sought out before any new act is performed. It is also expected that both parties will review these lists on a regular basis to make any necessary adjustments as experience dictates.
A. Hard Limits
- Unnecessary punishment. I do not respond well to punishment. I will shut down and not want to play anymore. I feel that punishment is not a good way to teach lessons, instead, it should only be used if I I deliberately disobey. If I do something wrong, it will most likely be due to a misunderstanding of expectations. So I expect that any mix-ups will be cleared, and that punishment will only follow if it is still deemed necessary.
- Degradation and humiliation. I will not stand for being treated like I am less than human. This is to include both how I am spoken to and acts I am told to perform.
- Scat play. Just no.
- Full head coverings, including costume masks, gas masks, hoods, muzzles, etc. Mild claustrophobia will ensue.
- Nose hooks/shackles. These are simply too weird.
B. Soft Limits
- Gagging. Horse/bit gags would be preferred over ball gags if they are to be implemented.
- Intense impact play. It is expected that any impact play will begin at a mild level and will only intensify according to my tolerance.
C. What I Want to Try
- Aesthetic/decorative rope bondage.
- Restrictive bondage, including cuffs, restraints, spreader bars, hogties, etc.
- Rope suspension.
- Collaring. Both private and public, although a more discreet collar would be preferred in public.
- Erotic/sensual modeling/photography.
- Sensory deprivation.
- Wearing/usage of sex toys in public, such as wearable vibrators or kegel balls.
- Candle wax.
D. On Submission
From my perspective, the most lucrative aspect of submission is the state of being completely open, both physically and emotionally. This is also a very high-risk state to let myself come to, and therefore I expect that it will take some time before I reach it. I am normally a very private and self-protecting person. It is very rare that I will reveal to another person any aspect of myself that I consider to be of high value. In other words, I take great strides to keep myself from feeling vulnerable. I will only reveal myself if I can trust that the other person will use that information to cherish and protect me, as they could just as easily use it against me.
This period of exposing myself is directly proportional to how much I am willing to serve the other person. The more I entrust myself to them, the more I want to please them. My servitude is expected to act as insurance that they will not turn to abusing their power over me. I want to make it clear that a big driving factor in my choice to submit is that, if done correctly, it will keep me safe. However, it would be wrong for me to think of my submission as a completely selfish act. I will only submit to those who I find legitimately interesting and worth my time, so I will spend a great deal of energy doing whatever I can to keep them happy. To me, a big part of being attracted to someone is feeling like I can actually make a difference in their lives. I want to give just as much as I expect to receive.
E. On Dominance
I would expect that a Dom will act in appropriate tandem with my submissiveness. I expect that he will take the time to learn about me and what I want. I trust that he will ask me to do things that are in direct benefit to himself, myself, or both, and not just because he can. I understand that he will likely ask me to do things I am not immediately comfortable with. I hope that whenever this occurs, his underlying reason for doing so is to promote my growth.
I do hope that you have found this to your satisfaction, Sir. I look forward to discussing it with you.