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You can’t convince me to fuck you

Overview

Through my extensive and ongoing research, I’ve repeatedly come across people who try to convince me to ensue a sexual relationship.  In their attempts, subjects have utilized one of two methods: bravado or desperation.  At this point, I can conclude, with high confidence, that such methods will never result in the subject’s intended desire becoming reality.

The Bravado Technique

Common phrases used within the bravado technique include “we should get together”, “you and I would have a lot of fun”, and “I’ll make you cum over and over again.”  I should further clarify that such phrases are used early in the dialogue process, often within the subject’s introductory remarks.  Further tests are needed to determine if the level of pretentiousness increases with continuing conversation.  No conclusive data has been gathered to support such a hypothesis, namely because I can’t be bothered to further these exchanges.

Subjects utilizing this technique fail to gauge my interest level in a way that is polite, mature, and nonpresumptive.  Note how they speak in statements instead of asking questions.  For example, take the statement “we should get together” and its counterpart, “would you like to get together?”  The statement holds so many assumptions, and the subject does not have sufficient evidence to support their claim on those assumptions.  They assume that “we” is the proper pronoun to use.  It’s not.  “We” implies that the subject and I are regarded as one unit.  The subject has no right to claim me as part of this unit when they have never spoken to me before.  Also, “should” is biased.  It’s leading me towards the response they seek.  Generally it’s more polite to gauge my interest in an open-ended manner, so as to meet me in a place of neutrality.  Leading the response is invasive.  Leading the response is nonconsentually pushing past the neutrality line and breaching my territory.  For most people, leading the response is perceived to be threatening.  For me, leading the response is simply incredibly annoying.

The Desperation Technique

On the other end of the spectrum, some subjects prefer to use the desperation technique.  Common phrases include “I’ll do anything for you”, “please give me a chance”, and “I promise you won’t regret it.”  I often find this technique used in cases where the subject has unrealistically high regard for me, and the begging tends to continue even after I have clearly expressed my disinterest.

Unlike subjects using the bravado technique, subjects using the desperation technique have a better grasp of good etiquette.  However, they take it a bit too far.  “I’ll do anything for you” may sound pleasurable at first, but it can escalate into an unhealthy state of worship.  Why would these subjects elect to worship me, when I have barely recognized their existence?  When I have given them absolutely nothing?  I have no desire to string people along if I have nothing to give them.  They belittle themselves for no reason; I am not their better.  Claiming to be less than who you deserve to be is just as unattractive as claiming to be more than you actually are, perhaps to an even greater extent.  These subjects also express that I am their be-all and end-all, which is simply delusional.  I become greatly concerned for such subjects, wondering if they have a healthy grasp on reality.  I want to help them, and the best way for me to do that is to be real, and say no.

Conclusion

You can’t convince me to fuck you.  You can’t pull a technique out of your ass and expect it to work.  I don’t play that way.  The only way you’ll win me over is to cultivate an honest, genuine desire for you.  I suppose one could say there’s a technique to that too…but it’s much more evolved and it’s constantly re-adapting itself.  If it is a technique, it can never be mastered completely.  It changes as subtly and quickly as I do, so the best you can hope to do is keep up.

 

Categories: Dating Relationships Sex

Miss Skaro

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