One of Fet’s favorite topics to discuss is all the asshole wannabe doms out there who spend their days sending outrageous messages and unsolicited dick pics to the entire female population. When I first joined, I was expecting my inbox to be flooded with these messages, going off of how many people seem to complain about it. I’ve gotten a few of them, sure. I’d be lying if I claimed to have never been personal witness to such moronic behavior. But in all honesty, I could probably count the number of times this has happened on one hand. I’m not trying to downplay the topic at all by saying that–it obviously keeps happening and we need to keep talking about it until it stops. But in my experience, it’s not THAT bad.
What I’ve been encountering is the same general issue, but a side of it that isn’t spoken of as much. Instead of variations on “kneel for me, bitch,” I’m getting assorted renditions of “let me worship you, mistress.”
And you know what? It’s just as annoying.
Don’t call me Mistress. Or Goddess. Or whatever other entitlement you imagine me to be worthy of. Talking “up” the power dynamic doesn’t excuse you from making assumptions about me. Just like any sane submissive won’t tolerate being talked down to without consent, I don’t take kindly to being idolized without some sort of discussion. Just as you, random stranger, are not my Dom, you are also not my sissy. Don’t go asking me if it’s ok that you leave the house today, or if you are worthy of ever losing your virginity. I don’t know you. I don’t fucking care what you do with your life.
To make it worse, there’s nothing on my profile that indicates I’m even remotely interested in pursuing a D-type role. You can’t justify your unwanted messages by saying that I “seem like a Domme.” Maybe your reasoning is that my username is MISS Skaro. Well, that’s the same sort of demented logic that says anyone with tits wants a stranger’s cum all over them. Even so, that’s honestly the only reason I can fathom for why you’d make such a presumption. If we look at what else is on my profile…the only relationship I have listed says I’m submissive, the first thing I have written is in regards to my Dom, and my BDSM test results show that I rank significantly higher in s-type interests than D-type ones. A rational conclusion to draw is that I’m mostly likely NOT a D-type. So even if you speak to me politely, approaching me with preconceived ideas of a dynamic that doesn’t exist is still disrespectful. It makes me question your judgement skills. It makes me feel like you could have sent the same message to any random person you’ve come across. It makes me feel like you’ve forgotten I’m a PERSON, no matter how grandiose the role is that you’ve presented me with. We are all so much more than our roles and our dynamics and our partners. And if you begin a conversation with that thought already diminished in your mind, then I’m sorry but it’s not going to turn out well for you.