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Does size matter? (revisited)

I hate this question.

A while back I wrote a response.  You can read it here, if you like.  But if you can’t be bothered…essentially this guy messaged me asking my opinion of his cock.  He told me how previous girlfriends made fun of his size and told him he could never satisfy a woman.  He wanted to know if I agreed with those girls.

I was concerned for this guy. I thought he might legitimately have a confidence/body-image issue, so I tried to counsel him.  I said all the standard stuff: size doesn’t equate to pleasure, there’s someone for everyone, your brain is the sexiest organ, etc.  Afterwards I realized that he may have had a kink for dick-shaming, and perhaps he wasn’t seeking my advice at all.  Maybe he wanted to hear me say that he was small and worthless.

So I suppose that’s my first gripe about this question.  See, I’m not into the whole dick-shaming thing.  Not one bit.  If you don’t put a frame around your kink when you’re talking to me, my initial reaction will be to try to help you.  It doesn’t even register as something kinky to me, that’s how much I’m not into it.  Luckily, there are plenty of people out there who are into that, so I sincerely hope you find each other.

Moving on though, I was asked the question again a few days ago.  This guy apparently saw Sir’s pictures and then actually asked me, “would you be dating him if he was only 5 inches?”

What a simple hypothetical question, right?  Well, no.  It’s incredibly complicated.  In this alternate universe you’re proposing, several things might be different just because of one slight change.  We may have never met in the first place.  We may have never gotten sexual.  Or maybe we did have sex and it was great!  Or maybe it was awful.  Maybe we connected physically but not emotionally.  Maybe we connected emotionally but not physically.

So many maybes.  So many factors involved.  I can draw from my experiences but that won’t necessarily lead me to a clear conclusion.  Yes I have a preference for larger guys.  Yes I’m initially more attracted to larger guys and thus more likely to attempt a sexual relationship.  But you know what, I’ve been with smaller guys and had a great time.  And I’ve been with bigger guys and I’ve been disappointed.

I just can’t imagine Sir with a smaller cock.  Because I only know him as he is, his personality and his body all in one package.  So one change may be negligible or it may make all the difference in the world.

I attempted to explain my thinking to this guy.  I tried to describe how and why his question was not as black-and-white as he thought.  But after all that he responds with “well, if he was 5 inches the truth is you wouldn’t be with him.”

First of all, did you even try to understand what I said?

Second, FUCK YOU.  He’s my Dominant.  There’s a whole relationship here that you’ve just insulted.  Do you think I submit to him just because he’s got a big cock?  I think this fascination you have with cock size has made you lose perspective.  Our relationship doesn’t involve you.  You have no right to tell me what choice I would make.

So yeah, I’m incredibly tired of this question.  Yes, size does matter, but I evaluate my relationship(s) with thought and feeling, not with a tape measure.

Categories: BDSM Dating Online Relationships Sex

Miss Skaro

1 reply

  1. Interesting post, and obviously one which gets asked a lot due to self conscious concerns of manhood and an ability to please ones partner.
    At the risk of irking you yet again, I would be interested to hear about the times when a big guy didn’t satisfy, as from my experience the physical activity of stretching and depth is usually a key component.
    Of course if the guy had no clue, had bad breath and body odor, and just randomly poking and prodding you with it, I totally get that it wouldn’t ring your bell !
    If there were any other aspects that made being with a bigger guy unsatisfactory however, that might be interesting for your readers.


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