Actually had someone say this to me the other day. I’ll admit, I was waiting for it to happen.
There we were, chatting generically about fetishes and whatnot. He says, “so you’re submissive? You don’t seem submissive.”
One, what were you expecting submission to look like?
Did I not seem submissive because I suggested our meeting and made an effort to make sure it went through?
Did I not seem submissive because I stated a limit of mine and said that I would not cross it?
Did I not seem submissive because I had my own ideas and wanted to execute them?
Two, you know why I didn’t seem submissive? Because I wasn’t being submissive.
Just because I identify as submissive doesn’t mean I exhibit those qualities all the time. And it doesn’t mean I act that way around everyone.
I’m reminded of a message I got recently. This guy says, “so you’re just an exhibitionist? Well what else are you?”
Really? Are you just one thing? And are you just that one thing all the time?
From this post alone I’ve identified as both submissive and an exhibitionist. Two things. I’m also a bunch more things. And at any moment I can be any combination of any of them.
But back to the topic. I happen to think I’m incredibly submissive. With Sir.
There are certainly elements of our dynamic that display my submission. Taking direction. Kneeling. Being restrained. The “yes Sir”s. The way my voice changes around him.
Technically, I could do those things for anyone. I’m a terrible actor, but if I could, if I looked at you the same way I look at him, would I seem submissive then?
Because I wouldn’t be.
Whether I’m presenting as non-submissive (whatever that means) or as submissive (whatever that means), I’m only truly being submissive when I intend to do so.
And I only intend to be submissive with him.