Recently I wrote that I was taking a break from casual sex, and that I might potentially regain my interest during the summer.
Well, my account has been reactivated and I’m open to inquiries. But I’m taking a different approach this time.
I took a break because I was tired of meeting people who weren’t satisfying to me. I had made an effort to meet people who I wouldn’t normally have met, but that ended up meaning that I met people I wasn’t excited about. Too many times I came across people and told myself, “they seem decent, just meet them and see what happens.” And while I don’t regret any experiences, these were usually less than ideal. Perhaps I set myself up to not enjoy them as much as I could have; maybe I wasn’t as open as I wished I was. All I know is that when I lacked a natural attraction I ended up feeling like I wasted my time.
But I’m trying it again. Not for the sex. It was never really about the sex for me. I learned that I actually enjoy meeting people this way and getting to know them in this manner. Sex was always a bonus, not a goal.
And despite all of the inferior experiences, I managed to meet some fucking awesome people. The gems. I’m frequently asked if being in that kind of community is worth all the hardship, and I always say that the battle is tedious but the rewards are amazing. I’ve met some fun lovers. I’ve made some great friends. This is how I met Sir, and that couldn’t have gone any better if I planned it.
So this time around I’m only meeting people who I’m actually interested in meeting. It took me a while to settle with this plan, even though it sounds straightforward. I could continue testing my theory that one day I’ll be completely surprised by someone I have no inkling for, but I think I have enough evidence supporting the contrary for now. I’d rather occupy my time with my other interests and reserve what time I have left for people I’m truly drawn to.