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Your voice will become the one in her head.

“Your voice will become the one in her head.”

I don’t remember where I read this.  But I think I found it shortly after we met.

At that point I had only gotten a glimpse of what BDSM was.

I thought I might be submissive so I learned what that meant.  I learned what type of things I should do to be submissive.

I learned how I should act.
I learned how I should speak.
I even learned how I should think.

I learned about you.  I learned what it meant for someone to be dominant.

And in my research, somewhere along the way, I found an image of a woman.  She was blindfolded, kneeling, hands cuffed behind her back.  Quoted in the image was that phrase,

“Your voice will become the one in her head.”

I wasn’t sure what it meant at first.

The woman in the image looked calm and serene, but the quote sounded so harsh and unforgiving.

I was confused.

I thought it meant that as a submissive, I would lose my voice.  I thought it meant that by giving up control, I would give up my self.

The image was seared into my mind but I struggled with the dissonance.

“Could I actually let that happen? Could I let someone do that to me?”

Then time passed.  The days turned to weeks, the weeks to months, and the months to years.

And in that time I learned about myself.

I learned what was important to me.
I learned how to present myself.
I learned how to live my life as I wanted.

I learned about you.  Not just as a dominant but as my Sir.

I forgot about the image.  I forgot about the quote.

I set aside generic ideas and focused on us.

Our rules.
What you wanted.
What I wanted.
What we could achieve together.

What we could become.

And then one day the words came back.

The quote materialized before me, as if it had plans all along to come back when I understood.

“Your voice will become the one in her head.”

I get it now.

Because your voice has become one in my head.

The only one?  No.  I’m still there.
Probably louder than ever.

But yours is always present.  We are in constant conversation.

You are part of every thought.
Every dream.
Every desire.

I get it.  I understand.

Your presence has become inseparable.

I think back to that image, and I think about how that woman looked so peaceful in her submission.

It all makes sense.

You have become part of me.

And I wouldn’t change it for the world.

 

Happy Anniversary, Sir. 

Categories: Uncategorized

Miss Skaro

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