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Y u no relationship ?!

I received two questions from two different people on two different sites at roughly the same time: “Why aren’t you married?”  and “Why are you single?” The first one perplexed me.   Like, raised eyebrow, head cocked to the side, perplexed.  Here I am on a hookup site, browsing through […]

Do you really think size matters?

Here’s one message category I’ve yet to understand.  Guys with small dicks asking me, “Do you really think size matters?” And you jump right into it too.  No introduction, no “how are you”, nothing.  Just, “I have a small penis, please judge me!” What exactly are you expecting from this conversation? […]

Are you really THAT busy?

I have to book dates about 2 months in advance.  I suppose that’s odd.  For those of you who are like, “omg r u serious?”, here’s why: I (usually) only meet people on weekends.  Exceptions will be made if a) you’re special, or b) it’s absolutely impossible for you to […]

You must ask permission

“Before you can interact with me you must ask my Master for permission.” I see this around Fet all the time and it kinda bugs me. No offense to those who have it on their profile.  I don’t have any say in how you live your life, nor am I […]

Oh Dear God

I just read the creepiest message I’ve gotten to date.  This was jaw-dropping, shudder-worthy (but as always, laughable) material. Among a rather interesting introduction from a man attempting to woo my submissive side with his proud domly ways were the words I want to impregnate  Um. WHAT?  Excuse me but […]

How are you?

Do you go through a momentary crisis whenever someone asks “how are you?”  Do you wonder if they actually want to know the answer?  Do you often drop out of conversations because you have no idea how to answer properly?  Keep reading to learn the 3 universal methods of completing […]

I am NOT checking you out

Ugh.  Alright, I’m in one of my snarky moods.  You have been forewarned. I’m sure several of you are reading this blog because you’ve found me on AdultFriendFinder.  I want to preface my following comments by saying that I am grateful for AFF being around, because I’ve met some very […]

That was weird

I apologize if you’re the guy who wrote these messages.  If you were merely going for getting my attention, you succeeded in your goal.  You made me question your behavior, which, to me, is incredibly entertaining. Your opening message: “Do you believe in serious relationships?” First of all…believe?  Is that really […]